plumnovel Chapter 54 From Tiger to Simp, Survival Depends on Ugliness
Chapter 54 From Tiger to Simp, Survival Depends on Ugliness
It has a strong rusty smell.
Yu Liang did not use his spiritual power.
The rules here are a tangled mess; touching even one wrong one will result in utter destruction.
The six prodigies behind him were like walking powder kegs.
"Three breaths." Xiao Wufeng's voice was dry and monotonous, like a countdown to an execution.
No sooner had the words left his mouth than a sickeningly sweet meow rang out.
It is Lei Hu of Tuoba Ye.
Its eyes were full of pink hearts. It slammed on the brakes, flung Tuoba Ye away, and pounced on the rusty sword in the pile of rocks, as if it had seen a lost tigress.
"Big Yellow! That's a sword demon! Are you crazy?!"
Tuoba Ye crawled out of the mud pit, his face swollen from the fall, and reached out to grab the tiger's tail.
Lei Hu turned around and lashed his face with his tail, sending Tuoba Ye flying again.
Lei Hu lay beside the broken sword, licking the blade with his barbed tongue. His tongue cut and bled profusely, yet his face was flushed with an eerie red.
The only sound was the slurping of sword licks; the entire arena was deathly silent.
"really."
Xiao Wufeng stood still, his fingers tapping rhythmically on the sword box.
Tap, tap, tap.
"Charm level off the charts, cross-species attack, ignores pain feedback."
"Tuoba Ye, your mount is ruined."
"Screw you! Save it!"
Tuoba Ye covered his bleeding nose, his eyes bloodshot.
"The cost of treatment exceeds the benefits of stopping the loss."
Xiao Wufeng's tone was completely calm. "Suggestion: Sever its sight and hearing, or execute it directly and use its corpse to clear the minefield."
"Wow! Senior Brother Xiao is so decisive and has such great courage!"
Bai Lian'er clapped her hands and jumped up, her eyes glued to Xiao Wufeng. "Even making decisions is so cool, I admire you so much~"
"Worship can be used to buy spirit stones?" Qian Duoduo rolled her eyes. "This is called optimal resource allocation. Trading a useless tiger for the safety of the whole team nets three thousand high-grade spirit stones. It's a huge profit. Only some people are so obsessed with romance and trivial matters."
"Who are you calling vulgar?" Bai Lian'er put her hands on her hips, ready to tear it, but was given a cold glare by Xiao Wufeng, and immediately retreated, biting her lip and pretending to be aggrieved.
A chill ran down everyone's spine.
This is the chief of Tianjian Peak.
In his calculations, there were no teammates, only chips.
Even the two top executives who were jealous of him could ignore him.
"what……"
Suddenly, Mo Yuan, who had been staring blankly into space, covered her face, her pale fingers revealing a flush of excitement.
"For the sake of the Great Dao, I personally slayed my beloved demon pet..."
"This heartbreaking sense of tragic love... isn't that exactly the climax of the second volume of 'The Overbearing Demon Lord's Little Runaway Wife'?"
"I wish... I could turn him into a rag doll and freeze this moment of heartlessness forever."
Yu Liang's lips twitched.
There isn't a single normal person in this group.
Xiao Wufeng, that grandson, clearly foresaw this, but he didn't say anything, instead using someone else's tiger as a test subject.
Those two women were both incredibly dramatic.
Mo Yuan, that crazy woman, has nothing but turning people into figurines.
"Young Master Xiao, that's too much of a stretch."
Yu Liang stood in front of Xiao Wufeng, who was about to draw his sword. "Killing at the drop of a hat is so unromantic. This isn't a bewitching sword; it's the spine of an ancient nine-tailed, lovestruck tiger demon, calling out to its lover from a past life."
Yu Liang, with a look of pity on his face, spouted nonsense with a straight face and snapped his fingers: "Master Pig, show us your talent. Two high-grade spirit stones, to be recorded in the abacus of Dan Ding Peak."
The pink pig rolled its eyes and peed a golden stream into a roadside puddle.
A pungent smell exploded out, and the rusty sword's light dimmed slightly.
"Love-severing water, a cure for love-struck brains." Yu Liang pointed at the yellow soup and laughed.
Tuoba Ye pinched his nose and used his spiritual power to wrap the pig urine and pour it into Lei Hu's mouth.
Lei Hu shuddered, the love in his eyes shattered, and he collapsed to the ground, vomiting uncontrollably.
Love and affection are nothing compared to this mouthful of aged urine.
The farce is over.
Xiao Wufeng leaned closer, his nostrils twitching slightly.
"An extremely dense stench, mixed with disordered, chaotic Daoist energy. Using filth to neutralize allure, the method is despicable, but it conforms to the logic of Yin and Yang's mutual restraint."
Xiao Wufeng stared at the pig in Yu Liang's arms, a glint of light flashing in his eyes. "I've learned something."
Bai Lian'er immediately stepped forward and handed over a scented handkerchief: "Senior Brother Xiao, this handkerchief has been scented with orchid fragrance for forty-nine days to purify it."
"Give me a break, how can a handkerchief block the Daoist energy?"
Qian Duoduo shoved Bai Lian'er, making her stumble, and pulled out a yellow talisman, handing it to her. "Senior Brother Xiao, use this. It's a purification talisman. The cost price is ten low-grade spirit stones, but I'll give you a 20% discount!"
"Are you obsessed with money? You want to pay for things that are for Senior Brother Xiao?" Bai Lian'er stomped her foot in anger.
"Even close brothers should keep clear accounts. Senior Brother Xiao is the most principled, isn't he?" Qian Duoduo raised his chin, looking smug.
Xiao Wufeng neither accepted the handkerchief nor the talisman, but merely glanced at the two of them indifferently, as if the argument just now had nothing to do with him.
Yu Liang cursed him as a pervert in his heart and rolled his eyes.
This person is so obsessed with becoming stronger that he even analyzes the principles behind pig urine; he's practically insane.
Those two infatuated girls are even crazier. They're arguing like this over such a cold-blooded monster. They must have been driven mad by the smell of pig urine.
The procession continued onward.
The deeper you go, the more distorted the light becomes.
The originally straight stone pillars are bent into twists here; the originally round stones have become irregular jagged shapes.
"stop."
Xiao Wufeng raised his hand, and the pointer of the Heavenly Mystery Compass in his hand remained fixed.
"The road is dead."
He took out a golden pellet engraved with runes and threw it out. The pellet flew three zhang (approximately 10 meters) before turning into dust.
"The Five Elements have reversed, and order has collapsed. Thirty feet ahead lies a death zone of the laws, rejecting anything that is orderly, symmetrical, or perfect. The rule is: if it pleases you, you die."
"Bullshit!"
Tuoba Ye refused to believe in evil spirits and, relying on his strong physique, leaned forward halfway.
"I am indestructible..."
laugh!
No blood was seen.
But the half of his eyebrow that had been sticking out disappeared instantly.
The cut is as smooth as a mirror.
If you go just one inch further forward, you'll cut off the top of your head.
Everyone felt their scalp tingle.
An invisible meat grinder.
"You saw it?"
Xiao Wufeng turned around and his gaze fell on Yu Liang.
"My deductions can only go this far."
"This is a world of chaos, where orthodox methods are useless."
"Yu Liang, you are a variable."
"It's your turn to fill the hole."
"That's right! Senior Brother Xiao is absolutely right!"
Bai Lian'er immediately chimed in, glaring at Yu Liang and scolding, "You scoundrel, don't even think about slacking off! Hurry up and find a way to clear the path! If you delay Senior Brother Xiao from retrieving the treasure, you'll be in big trouble!"
Qian Duoduo nodded in agreement: "That's right, Yu Liang, you haven't squeezed every last drop of value out of us. Hurry up and get to work!"
Yu Liang's lips twitched even more violently. So these two, one a sycophant and the other a creditor, were both here to kill him, right?
He's forcing the emperor to abdicate.
This method is used to extract the remaining value from Yu Liang.
Yu Liang gave Xiao Wufeng a deep look.
This son of a bitch is even more troublesome than I imagined.
He not only wants you to work, but he also wants to dissect you and study how you work.
"Don't move."
Yu Liang closed his eyes.
In the field of vision, the gray-white void was filled with black cracks.
Those cracks, like living creatures, devoured everything that looked "orderly".
I want to live.
It has to be worse, uglier, and more twisted than the rules here.
After a while.
Yu Liang suddenly opened his eyes.
His left foot was twisted and placed on the outside of his right foot, his waist was folded back at a 90-degree angle, his hands were clasped behind his back, his neck was tilted to one side, his mouth was wide open, and his tongue was hanging out.
He twisted himself into a moldy pretzel.
He looks like an elderly zombie who has just been unearthed and hasn't had time for plastic surgery.
"Everyone do as instructed."
Yu Liang gritted his teeth, maintaining this extremely shameful and painful posture.
"A slight miscalculation could have resulted in a head falling to the ground."
"The laws here are jealous of beauty."
"The uglier, the more in harmony with the Tao."
"The more distorted, the safer."
Bai Lian'er gritted her teeth, her face full of humiliation.
Ye Aotian looked at himself dressed in white, feeling as if he had lost his parents.
Qian Duoduo looked uncomfortable; this posture was too hard on her back.
however.
The first to move was Xiao Wufeng.
He did not hesitate at all.
He didn't even have the slightest bit of the burden that a prodigy should have.
He stared at Yu Liang's posture, his eyes flashing with rapidly updating data.
"The spine tilts at a 30-degree angle, the Qi sinks to the left heel, blocking the Ren and Du meridians and disrupting the Yin-Yang balance of the body's microcosmic orbit."
"I see."
"By turning yourself into a chaotic freak, you can deceive the laws."
Xiao Wufeng analyzed the situation while making his move.
Click.
Click.
The sound of bones dislocating rang out.
He instantly twisted his body into a bizarre angle.
even.
In pursuit of the ultimate "ugliness," he even rolled his eyeballs up to create a perfectly standard "ahegao" (a Japanese expression for an expression of ugliness).
The precision of his movements was even more exquisite than Yu Liang's.
It was as if he was born a deformed child.
Take a step forward.
Safe and sound.
"pass."
Xiao Wufeng maintained that tilted-head, rolled-eyes pose, and turned back to coldly look at the crowd who were still struggling with their manners.
"I recommend immediate implementation."
"In the face of life and death, face is a liability."
Next up is Mo Yuan.
As she stiffly twisted her limbs, she screamed wildly in her mind:
[This sense of brokenness, of abandoning one's physical form for survival... Ah! The way Senior Brother Xiao and Junior Brother Yu Liang are twisted together is just like two maggots entangled in despair!]
[It feels so destiny-like!]
[I got it! 】
A group of aloof and elegant cultivators.
now.
They all became cerebral palsy patients who had just learned to walk.
With a tilted neck, squinting eyes, and dragging legs, he moved with a slow, deliberate gait.
The scene was too beautiful to look at.
Yu Liang looked at Xiao Wufeng, who was walking at the front with movements so precise they were almost unbelievable, and a strong sense of vigilance suddenly rose in his heart.
This person is terrifying.
He can not only see through your hand.
It can also instantly learn your trump card.
even.
They use it better than you, and they're even more shameless.