plumnovel Chapter 39 The Number One Shameless Sect Member: Want to Hit Me? Buy a Ticket First!
Chapter 39 The Number One Shameless Sect Member: Want to Hit Me? Buy a Ticket First!
At dawn, no birds sing on Zizhu Peak; only the stench of burning remains.
Yu Liang lay slumped in his wheelchair, his stomach rumbling. Last night's "human gas expulsion" technique had squeezed out the last bit of his energy.
Ah Tuo brought over a bowl of gruel that smelled strongly of rancidity. Just as Yu Liang reached out, the door flew off.
The door panel slammed against the wall, Ah Tuo's hand trembled, and the porridge spilled onto Yu Liang's head.
Yu Liang didn't wipe it, and stiffly turned his head.
Su Xiu stood against the light, her face as black as iron.
"Eat? You still have the nerve to eat?"
Su Xiu's voice was devoid of warmth as she slammed the storage bag onto Yu Liang's face, which was covered in porridge.
Loosen the bag opening.
What was poured out was not a spirit stone.
It was a clump of grayish-white powder.
Yu Liang wiped the porridge off his face, his heart skipped a beat.
"Where's the money?" Yu Liang's voice trembled. "That's five hundred thousand! Five hundred thousand I just extorted from the main peak...borrowed!"
"That's all."
Su Xiu sat down, the abacus clicking crisply: "The Zizhu Peak debt liquidation meeting shall now begin."
From the shadows, several figures slowly emerged.
These normally lawless lunatics were now cowering like quails.
"The first payment is the interest on the debt owed to the main peak, amounting to 100,000. Elder Tie Wuqing personally led people to collect it last night; if they didn't pay, he threatened to demolish the mountain gate."
Su Xiu didn't even lift her eyelids.
"Fourth Senior Brother. Deep-sea sunken silver, left arm joint coating, 50,000."
"Fifty thousand?!" Yu Liang nearly jumped out of his wheelchair. "You want fifty thousand for a coating? Is that a saw or a work of art?"
"Art." Mo Ju uttered two words, looking at him like he was a bumpkin.
"Second Senior Sister. Gelsemium elegans salad, for beauty, 30,000."
Yu Liang's vision went black.
Using deadly poison as a salad, what a spendthrift woman!
"Eldest brother, the coffin sliding lid upgrade costs 30,000. Fifth sister's rouge costs 20,000, sixth brother's zither strings cost 10,000, third brother's seed costs 20,000. Master's wine money costs 60,000."
The abacus beads rattled and clicked, and Yu Liang's heart shattered with each click.
"And then there's Alpaca," Su Xiu pointed to the alpaca licking its bowl, "to celebrate your return alive, it bought a fresh dragon liver for a treat, 30,000. With miscellaneous expenses, it's 50,000."
The lobby was deathly silent.
Yu Liang opened his mouth wide.
So all the money he risked his life to extort that day was squandered by these spendthrifts in one night?
"Spendthrifts! A bunch of spendthrifts!"
Yu Liang was so angry that he trembled all over, and his finger pointing at the crowd was shaking.
"Five hundred thousand gone in one night? You didn't even make a peep?"
Although the madmen lowered their heads, there was no remorse in their eyes.
Yu Liang suddenly narrowed his eyes: "It only adds up to 400,000, what about the remaining 100,000?"
Everyone turned to stare at Yu Liang. Su Xiu sneered, dragged out a sack, and dumped it at her feet; it was full of scraps.
"Last night you were practicing that 'Scumbag Mental Technique,' you were like a black hole."
Su Xiu gritted her teeth, "The storeroom is less than three zhang from your room. The spiritual energy of 100,000 spirit stones was absorbed by you in the time it takes for an incense stick to burn, leaving not a trace!"
Yu Liang froze.
He looked down at the powder, then at his hands.
Last night... that "mark of divine retribution" inside my body really felt like a starving ghost reincarnated.
I originally thought I was absorbing the spiritual energy of heaven and earth and emotions.
So, they were actually sucking money?
I subconsciously touched my chest.
The gruesome, bleeding wound had actually begun to heal slightly.
This is hardly cultivation.
This is clearly burning money!
"I...I didn't mean to..." Yu Liang shrank his neck, his voice barely audible.
"You're the biggest spendthrift," Mo Ju concluded.
"Shameless," Red Medicine added insult to injury.
"Pay back the money," Kumu said succinctly.
The crowd, who had just been subjected to a barrage of insults, suddenly straightened their backs and stood on their moral high ground, mercilessly showing their contempt.
"Master! Master, save me!"
Yu Liang started howling at the top of his lungs.
A disheveled figure fell from the roof beam.
Gu Santong, reeking of alcohol, was clutching a large gourd of wine when he landed and let out a burp.
One boot was pointing forward and the other backward, a comical yet pathetic sight.
"My dear disciple, what brings you here?" Gu Santong, his eyes still blurry with drunkenness, reached out and patted Yu Liang's head. "Did you manage to swindle money again? Quick, lend me 20,000; the neighbor's got some new wine..."
"I'm out of money!"
Yu Liang grabbed Gu Santong's leg and wiped his snot and tears all over his greasy Taoist robe.
"Master, Purple Bamboo Peak has gone bankrupt! We've lost all 500,000! Did you have any savings hidden away? We need help urgently!"
Gu Santong was half-sober.
"No money?" The old man's eyes widened, and he immediately lay down on the ground, throwing a tantrum. "How can I live without money? I'm not going to live anymore! Su girl, have you hidden the money? Give it to me!"
"No!" Su Xiu clutched her purse tightly. "There are only three copper coins in here! For buying salt!"
"I don't believe it! Search it!"
"You shameless old bastard!" Yu Liang roared, lunging at Gu Santong and pinning him down. "You're even robbing me for salt money?"
"Get out of here! I'd rather die than not have wine!"
"Then go die! Sell the wine gourd!"
"Traitor! This was passed down from the founder... but if I could exchange it for two jars of good wine..."
Gu Santong's eyes darted around, and he actually shoved the wine gourd into Su Xiu's arms. "Girl, this gourd is an antique. Give me a price..."
Su Xiu pushed away the gourd covered in saliva without expression: "The scrap yard doesn't accept junk."
An old man and a young boy, two scoundrels, were wrestling together, while a group of lunatics watched the spectacle from the sidelines.
This is Zizhu Peak.
Absurd, noisy, and dirt poor.
"Stop hitting him!"
Su Xiu slammed her hand on the table, sending the abacus beads flying.
She stood up, her eyes cold.
"Have you made enough trouble? The mountain-protecting array's spirit stone reserves are only enough to last for half an hour. After half an hour, the array will close. Those people outside the mountain gate who want your head for the bounty will rush in."
Su Xiu pointed to Yu Liang's smoking chest.
"And you too. Without spirit stones to replenish your body, your 'funnel' body won't last until tonight before collapsing and being obliterated by the Heavenly Dao."
The lobby fell silent.
Reality is harsh.
No money, no life.
Yu Liang released his grip on Gu Santong's neck and slumped back into his wheelchair.
The crack in my chest was slowly widening, and that feeling of emptiness, as if my soul had been ripped away, returned.
The cost of causal deception.
To live requires paying an expensive "rent".
"How many people are outside?"
Yu Liang suddenly asked.
The voice was very soft, but a strange green light shone in those cloudy eyes.
"Several hundred, I guess," Tu San said slowly. "My roots sense that there are people everywhere at the foot of the mountain. They're all shouting about eliminating demons and protecting the righteous path, but they're really just after those five hundred spirit stones."
"Several hundred..."
Yu Liang licked his chapped lips.
I was terrified when I heard that number yesterday.
But now.
There were far more than a few hundred malevolent stars.
They are clearly hundreds of walking money bags!
"Su Xiu".
Yu Liang suddenly sat up straight, his dejection vanishing instantly.
Instead, there is the frenzy of gamblers about to go all in.
"Go find a plank of wood. The bigger the better."
"What are you going to do?" Su Xiu asked warily. "Write a will?"
"What kind of suicide note would I write!"
Yu Liang grinned maliciously, took out a worn-out brush, dipped it in the swill porridge that A Tuo had splashed on his face, and drew a few lines in the air.
"Although our Purple Bamboo Peak is poor, it cannot be without rules. Since they want to challenge me, a 'Primordial Dao Embryo,' and want to see the 'Scumbag's Heart Sutra'..."
"Then you'll have to buy a ticket!"
……
Fifteen minutes later.
Outside the gate of Zizhu Peak, there was a great deal of noise.
Hundreds of outer disciples gathered, holding various magical artifacts in their hands, their eyes gleaming with greed.
Five hundred spirit stones are enough to change the fate of an outer disciple.
"Yu Liang is already at his last gasp! Yesterday's battle must have drained his life force!"
"That's right! Once the formation breaks today, charge in, and whoever gets the head keeps it!"
"Exterminate evil and uphold justice! Slay the scoundrels!"
The slogans were deafening.
Just then, the mist array flickered a few times and slowly opened up a passage.
Everyone was overjoyed and was about to charge.
But at the entrance of the passage stood a huge, tattered door panel, still dripping with swill.
Behind the door sat Yu Liang, who was barely alive.
Behind him stood a maid carrying an abacus and a pink pig.
Yu Liang held a broken gong in his hand and banged it twice.
"Don't push! Behave yourselves!"
He pointed to the door panel.
Several lines of large, crooked characters were written in cursive script above:
[By imperial decree, we engage in friendly competition, treating everyone equally, young and old.]
The challenge fee is 10 spirit stones, queuing costs 5 spirit stones, and watching costs 2 spirit stones.
Note: This is a pre-natal Dao embryo, honest and reliable, young and old alike. Defeating it is a win!
The entire room fell silent.
Everyone stared at Yu Liang as if he were an idiot.
"Are you crazy?" A burly man with a face full of scars stepped forward, pointing his finger at Yu Liang's nose. "You're about to die and you still want money? I'm here to beat you up, why should I give you money?"
"Hit me?"
Yu Liang wasn't angry and lazily raised his eyelids.
"This senior brother has a narrow mindset."
Yu Liang sighed, looking disappointed in Yu Liang.
"Why did you spend money to beat me? It was to achieve clarity of mind, to eliminate evil and uphold justice! These 10 spirit stones buy the righteousness in your heart, and the peace of your Dao heart!"
"And what about me? I took the money, stood still, and let you hit me. This is helping you eliminate karmic debts; I'm using my physical body to enhance your reputation!"
Yu Liang patted his chest.
The mark of divine retribution loomed faintly, like a greedy mouth waiting to devour the impending violence and spiritual power.
He grinned, revealing a set of white teeth:
"This is not extortion."
"That's called a win-win situation."